Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Who's Looking At You?


Who's Looking At You ~2012
30x30 canvas Mixed Media
This is the painting that I began at Paint Mojo with Tracy Verdgo. 
I LOVED the class!
 
Tracy is elegantly creative.
She is also approachable, real, down to earth and FUN!
 The class was a total delight.
 
I learned many new creative techniques.
And even more importantly I learned a lot about myself.
I discovered:
 
~I am a private painter.
I paint at night, in the living room- usually my husband is doing computer work, school or occasionally he will watch a movie. I plug in my ear-pods and escape into paint. I find that a beat within me steadies me and drowns out distractions
 
At Paint Mojo I found myself in a room with close to twenty other women. The creative energy in the room was intense.
quickly overloaded.

Luckily I packed the ear-pods.
Using just one, in the ear away from Tracy I instantly calmed.
I consider it personal growth that I was able to recognize I needed that space and I did not judge myself.
 
~ I am NOT 'good' student.
I found it HARD to stick to the plan.... follow the steps... I most certainly have artistic ADD! I would be off on a tangent before I realized and would catch myself ...Paint the squares. Be Patient. BeHAVE! ;)
My struggles are totally obvious from the painting that I produced from...Paint Mojo. *shaking my head*  I was looking forward to coming home with an awesome abstract, like I saw other students of Paint Mojo sharing!! 
Try as I might, I couldn't make the owls go away.
 Once I got it home... I kept discovering more faces poking out to be noticed.
To paint them away would have been dishonor to my artist eye.
I remember being a student in an online class and so miffed with the teacher because she was saying even though she loved this part of the painting that it didn't work for the piece and would be painted out.... WHAT!?!
As the painter I would be in control!!
I am beginning to understand what she meant.
I feel like a sort of creativity medium most times I am painting.
 I just have to let it in.
And stay out of the way.

I think that the most important thing I took with me from the weekend:
~I am not alone.
 I watched in awe as the women around me sailed through the high times and frowned at the blocks they alone were dealing with. I looked at a piece and loved it, only to find  the artist was deep in thought obviously trying to find a solution to a 'problem' unseen by me... or pointing out the flaws - once again, that only she saw.

Self doubt.
The critical eye.
Fear.
These are universal feelings.
Watching a group of artists... seeing the things that triggered their 'Left-brain-tick-tock-artist-buzz-kill' side was beautiful.
Painful.
But beautiful.
Beautiful- to be able to witness how others keep a piece moving forward - past blocks.
Painful, because I know how it feels to look at your work and doubt yourself.

I am reading (again) 'The War of Art' by Steven Pressfield.
I have many favorite quotes from his book...

"Remember, as artists we don't know diddly. We're winging it everyday."

Photo By Aimee Wheaton see her work here

When we are making art, we are all winging it. And with the realization, I'm not the only one who doesn't 'know diddly'... I can relax and be fine with where I am.

Hope you are having fun with whatever
you are winging!

Much love!!
~Jess









 

1 comment:

  1. So many thoughts from this class -- I'm sure you learned and confirmed a lot about yourself. LOVE the piece you did and why should the Owls go away? So original and they came directly from you. Such a great experience. xoDonna

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